Back to life.

I stopped posting on this blog nearly three years ago, when my personal website died (see last from 2011 below), and I was planning a return to Seattle.

Fast forward to 2014, now a year after having left Seattle (again--short story: going back didn't work out in any demonstrable way). I returned to Toledo last January to pick up my unfinished academic threads, and am so glad I did. My old website's still dead, but I have found a vital new outlet in working with the incarcerated, which has been something I have attempted to pursue since (re)entering school in 2007.

I may start another blog soon to discuss the rewarding work I do with the inmates (I currently teach acting, and hope to soon be teaching philosophy as part of the Inside-Out program). I think a discrete blog from this one is probably best for that, and I will post here when/if I set that up. However, in the meantime, take a look at the other blog I have just started, Pell Grant Writing Initiative, which is an effort that is shared by myself and prisoners at Toledo Correctional Institution. Only one post is currently up, but look for much, much more to come in the future.

Happy New Year! ~Sasha

I think...

...this is quite possibly one of the most beautiful videos I've ever watched. It probably helps that I'm from repressed Appalachia/the South. But it's lovely to me.

Anamnesis

Descrip

Def

Delve

How'd I Get 10 Followers?

Cool, and I don't even know 90% of you, but I love you all!

I'm active again on Flickr, after a bit of a hiatus. View here.

Grad school breakdown!

This is way overdue--I'm finally posting the results:

I applied to 9 programs, all terminal Master's (I want a transition before moving to doctoral studies, rather than going through a straight-to-PhD program, for various reasons I won't bore you with here). All had strong programs overall, seemed to be more Continental in their bent (or at least Continental friendly--I enjoy Analytical stuff, but given my background, I lean less "Phi of Mind" and more "Phi of Art") and each had strengths or potential for expansion in my area(s) of philosophical interest, Aesthetics and Ethics.

The schools were:

Miami University (in Ohio)
University of Toledo
Kent State
Ohio University
West Chester University (near Philly)
Oklahoma State
Colorado State
Washington State
California State-L.A.

Most of you guys already know this, but for the uninitiated: don't pay for grad school. Typically, one receives a tuition waver, plus a teaching assistantship to cover living expenses (well, at least ostensibly--it's not like you've won the lotto, or anything). I was hoping for decent financial offers from both Washington & Cal State, because I miss living in both places (in Cal State's case, I'm right back in L.A.; in Pullman, at least I'm a few hours' drive from Seattle).

Anyhoo, I was accepted at all 9 schools, which is awesome. However, not everyone ponied up the $$$. As we all know, times are tough, and budget cuts affected nearly everyone. I did receive a couple of measly offers--one from Ohio U., and the suggestion I "might" be eligible for money in the spring at West Chester, but a substantive one came in from Oklahoma, so they took over as my front runner. Then, I received a personal phone call from the head of the department at Toledo, and everything changed. First off, he told me I was their top candidate (which is an ego stroke I haven't gotten in some time, so I had to revel a little). Also, he was so enthusiastic, collegial (philosophy types aren't always the most accessible folks) and sold the strengths of the program so hard to me, I had to sit up and take notice. A decent financial offer was extended, _and_ to put icing on the cake, the guy who will be my graduate advisor emailed to let me know that he was co-founder of a theatre company in Toledo, and that if I "wanted to do any more acting, we could make sure it fits around your seminars."

Once an actor, always an actor...let's just say that helped tip the balance, even though I was already sold. Sure, it's not L.A., but performing is performing, and keeping my artistic side exercised is always something I want to do, despite the career goals that have replaced professional acting.

So, after my study abroad in Scotland this summer, I'm Ohio bound. I never pictured myself living in Toledo for two years, but the strange and sometimes wonderful twists and turns my life has taken tell me to never dismiss anything out of hand, and to remember "beauty's where you find it."

I knew I'd find a way to work in Madonna. Viva Toledo!

Coming again soon...

Sasha's Irregular Slot!

Friday night/Saturday morning, February 29th/March 1st

12a-3a EST/9p-12a PST

Tune in here.

Lots of cool music and creative commentary by none other than little 'ole me.

See you there!

Listen to Sasha's Irregular Slot...

...my slot has something to say.

CORRECTION ON TIME SLOT!!!

Saturday, February 16th 4-6 pm, EST.

Online here.

On the dial: 88.1 FM.

Sasha's Irregular Slot Rages Again!

So, if you missed my first radio show in 14 *cough* years last week, y'all got a second chance to check it. I dusted off the cobwebs and now I'm ready to shine.

12a-3a EST Friday night/Saturday morning, Feb. 8/9 (that's 9p-12a for any math-deficient--like myself--west coast friends).

Out-of-towners/computer listeners: here.

Locals/old school: 88.1 FM.

Make it so.

This morning...

...my Dad left me a voice mail in the style of Karl Childers, to congratulate me on getting into the Honors Program at EKU.

Made my day.

My brand-spanking-new tattoo.

Artwork by the incomparable Donald Purvis.

This is one I've wanted for a long, long time. I say, "this will be my last," but I've been saying that since my third one, back in 1992. Two more tattoos/fifteen years later; we'll see...

Wanna know more about the image? Go here.

The Year in Review.

So.

It's been a year since I left Los Angeles. Last August 29th, I tearfully gave away the last of the things I couldn't fit into my storage space or my rented vehicle (my low-rent vulturous neighbors were more than delighted to pick through it all), and myself and my three feline children hit the road. We drove straight through the desert, the mountains, the trees--never stopping except for pee breaks and food-on-the-run--until we stumbled, exhausted, into an equally low-rent hotel each night. When we arrived four days later on the doorstep of my parents' home (a respite I truly appreciate and often return to during my darkest life transitions), I think the four of us passed out and slept for a whole day.

I departed from Los Angeles a disenchanted, unhappy person. As I've outlined in detail in my previous blogs, I hadn't reached the place I wanted to be as an artist; I was broke and living in a shitty neighborhood where I didn't feel safe; my relationship of several years had reached its climax--and despite our attempts to make it work, it quite simply, didn't anymore. It was time to hit that big reset button, yet again.

Kentucky is by no means my favorite place to live, despite growing up here. It is very dear to me, a wonderful place to come back and visit; I find it beautiful and bucolic in many ways, but I've never been able to shake that it just doesn't feel like home to me. However, my folks are here, it's fairly affordable, and it seemed the most logical place to take a respite and plan for the future. Initially, I had plans to work on a cruise ship in Hawaii, but after reading horror narrative after horror narrative, combined with the cruise line's apathy in returning my calls, I elected not to dedicate five months of my life to indentured servitude. Instead, I chose to hang my hat here for a bit, to give myself time to really take a look at what was the most progressive, yet most satisfying "next step."

In the year that I've been here, I've worked several "permanent" jobs which proved to be nothing of the sort, and many, many temp assignments. Truly, I never wanted to find any employment that would keep me here too long; my intention has always been to go someplace else. No matter how comfortable Lexington and its environs are, my gypsy heart has longed for a new, or return to a "new again" place where I feel there is more opportunity (and saltwater--I hate being landlocked). And, despite my return to Kentucky serving as an escape from a relationship tornado, I managed to find yet another opportunity to get my heart broken. What can I say? When I care, I care deeply and with hope that it will be returned. There's another life lesson in there for me somewhere, I suppose; I'm still working that one out.

This year has been tough--hell, things have been tough for me since 2005--but I feel I'm finally turning a corner. I'm back in school; two schools, actually: University of Kentucky and Eastern Kentucky University, as a philosophy major. Heady, lofty stuff, but I've always set the bar high, which is why I've probably experienced my share of disappointment. I'm having an amazing time thus far, and only see it getting better. I'm a junior (currently taking 18 hours--again, those lofty goals), and I anticipate being done in a year and a half. So, I'm thinking early 2009, I'm on my way to grad school, back on the west side of the nation--or maybe even Europe. We'll see what opportunities present themselves to me.

Oh yeah, and I'm applying for a grant to develop a one-woman show, incorporating much about my full-circle journey home. It'll be swell, I promise. So, wish me luck, friends. Changer oui!

Yoga and me.

I've been doing a lot of yoga lately, and it's yielding interesting results. Certainly, I am doing it for health reasons--for strength, flexibility, and that oh-so-craved lean yoga body. But mostly, I've been doing it for piece of mind.

I've flirted with yoga for years, starting in 2000, when I picked up a combo AM/Stress/PM DVD from the Whole Foods where I was working, in Austin, Texas. My marriage was sputtering out, and I was looking for anything to give me a distraction, and hopefully, physical/emotional benefit. I struggled with the poses (I have a lot of stiffness due to fibromyalgia), but was able to get through each program with general success. The first time I attempted the stress yoga sequence, I broke down at the end and cried. It's true that certain poses open emotional floodgates in your body, just as when a massage therapist who understands the mind-body connection targets emotional centers that are holding old emotional pain. Perhaps it is because of that very phenomenon that my practice has been spotty; I seem to look for reasons not to do yoga, not only because it is a challenge for me physically, but it also forces me to listen to the deepest parts of myself. I seem to be okay with self-analysis when it involves my intellect, but it gets overwhelmingly intense when I start listening to my body.

Nevertheless, since returning to Kentucky and reevaluating a lot of what is/isn't working in my life, I find myself finally turning to yoga without apprehension. I'll doubt I'll ever be a 6 am-in-the-morning practitioner, but I do find winding down the evening with the pm program settles the machinery of my ever-whirring mind. Even though it's low-impact, a couple of the poses are so challenging for me, I still wobble, and am relieved that no one is there to see me struggle and modify and look incredibly ungraceful.

One of the immediate benefits for me is that fall asleep much faster, and dream like a motherfucker. I haven't dreamt a lot in the last few months; I think that's because of some of the stressors in my life--my subconscious thinks it's just easier to go "dark"--and even though I feel a little wrung out in the mornings after the jumble of metaphors that have plumbed my head, I find I deal much better with the reality of the day, when I have done yoga.

I particularly seem to be having a lot of sex dreams, and finally with people I'd actually want to fuck, instead of previous dream suitors, like old bosses, Woody Allen and Tony Soprano. I had a particularly delicious dream last night about David Duchovny, probably because I had just watched his film House of D. Even with the pleasant imagery, there was still a feeling of deceit, or disappointment associated with the outcome, which is often the overarching emotion that occurs in dreams where I'm sleeping with stars. I know this points to the larger narrative of my life in many ways (leaving L.A. behind, not reaching the "heights" I wanted to in the industry, etc.), and I feel yoga is pressing my mind to work a lot of this stuff out.

I think it's good for me to put this in print, because it forces me to stick with a goal (I'm still off aspartame, for instance!), and I know I can get lazy if I don't have the possibility of someone checking in to say "How's the yoga going?" So, while I don't expect to have Madonna's fabulous flexibility anytime soon (or any of her awesome achievements, for that matter), I do plan to continue doing yoga regularly for my health, and my sanity.

Namaste.

One full month of no aspartame!

And I'm starting to feel a lot better. As I was telling my friend Darci last night: if I can quit this, I can do ANYTHING!