Commentary from The Realm of Alexandra

No more Sasha's Slot...

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:09:00 +0000

...at least, in Toledo. Too many logistical/communication problems with management at the station, so I stepped out of that madness. I've got too much on my plate right now to sweat it. I'll pick the habit back up in the next town I move to. And in the interim, I'll continue to put some of my fave music video selections up for you...like this one! (Interesting social commentary--but not for faint of heart/uptight.)

Sasha's Slot: tonight!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:10:00 +0000

UPDATE: *Sigh* No Sasha's Slot tonight: arrived on campus only to find the Student Union locked up for the holiday. Join me next week, same time, same station!

And every Saturday night, 6-8 EST / 3-5 PST.

Listen on 88.3 FM Toledo or online at WXUT.com.

Listen to Sasha's Slot today!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:15:00 +0000

6-8 EST / 3-5 PST

WXUT 88.3 Toledo or WXUT.com

I never post anymore.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:31:00 +0000

I'm sorry, Commentary from The Realm of Alexandra. Grad school and the egoistic stroke of immediate response on Facebook has lured me away, but I promise new and better things, soon. After all, I have been engaging with you for nearly 15 years now, or 10, if you only count maintenance of my very own website, which now seems a relic in the face of the straight-to-the-vein experience of social networking (an interface in which everyone and their Grandma now seems to be engaging). Part of me wants to simply let you go, like some old boat drifting quietly away, but I know I cannot, because your virtual skiff carries the futile hope of change, of transformation (either of myself or others; I've never been able to work that out). I know this is an illusion, but Maya is lookin' good these days. So, until then, a Halloween wish--two versions (of course!): one featuring only various versions of myself, and another with me, my cats, and Sigmund Freud!

Until another meaningful engagement, I give you the best of my HUBRIS.

Sasha with an X

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

It's official: Sasha's Slot has a new time!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 18:18:00 +0000

Listen to the 'Slot tonight and every Saturday night from 6-8 pm EDT / 3-6 PDT at 88.3 Toledo or:
WXUT-FM
See you there!

Sasha's Slot is regular again!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:47:00 +0000

UPDATE: No radio show today; I've hit a logistical wrinkle that's beyond my control. I will repost any changes to my time slot!

Listen to Sasha's Slot today and every Saturday from 4-6 pm EST on 88.3 WXUT Toledo, or online here.

Online, you get the added bonus of staring at the back of my head in the DJ booth!

See you there!

Sasha's Irregular Slot

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:52:00 +0000

Today! And last show ever on WRFL.

6-8 pm EST / 3-5 PST. Listen here.

Sasha's Irregular Slot...today!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:54:00 +0000

4-6 pm EST / 1-3 PST. Listen here.

Grad school breakdown!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:57:00 +0000

This is way overdue--I'm finally posting the results:

I applied to 9 programs, all terminal Master's (I want a transition before moving to doctoral studies, rather than going through a straight-to-PhD program, for various reasons I won't bore you with here). All had strong programs overall, seemed to be more Continental in their bent (or at least Continental friendly--I enjoy Analytical stuff, but given my background, I lean less "Phi of Mind" and more "Phi of Art") and each had strengths or potential for expansion in my area(s) of philosophical interest, Aesthetics and Ethics.

The schools were:

Miami University (in Ohio)
University of Toledo
Kent State
Ohio University
West Chester University (near Philly)
Oklahoma State
Colorado State
Washington State
California State-L.A.

Most of you guys already know this, but for the uninitiated: don't pay for grad school. Typically, one receives a tuition waver, plus a teaching assistantship to cover living expenses (well, at least ostensibly--it's not like you've won the lotto, or anything). I was hoping for decent financial offers from both Washington & Cal State, because I miss living in both places (in Cal State's case, I'm right back in L.A.; in Pullman, at least I'm a few hours' drive from Seattle).

Anyhoo, I was accepted at all 9 schools, which is awesome. However, not everyone ponied up the $$$. As we all know, times are tough, and budget cuts affected nearly everyone. I did receive a couple of measly offers--one from Ohio U., and the suggestion I "might" be eligible for money in the spring at West Chester, but a substantive one came in from Oklahoma, so they took over as my front runner. Then, I received a personal phone call from the head of the department at Toledo, and everything changed. First off, he told me I was their top candidate (which is an ego stroke I haven't gotten in some time, so I had to revel a little). Also, he was so enthusiastic, collegial (philosophy types aren't always the most accessible folks) and sold the strengths of the program so hard to me, I had to sit up and take notice. A decent financial offer was extended, _and_ to put icing on the cake, the guy who will be my graduate advisor emailed to let me know that he was co-founder of a theatre company in Toledo, and that if I "wanted to do any more acting, we could make sure it fits around your seminars."

Once an actor, always an actor...let's just say that helped tip the balance, even though I was already sold. Sure, it's not L.A., but performing is performing, and keeping my artistic side exercised is always something I want to do, despite the career goals that have replaced professional acting.

So, after my study abroad in Scotland this summer, I'm Ohio bound. I never pictured myself living in Toledo for two years, but the strange and sometimes wonderful twists and turns my life has taken tell me to never dismiss anything out of hand, and to remember "beauty's where you find it."

I knew I'd find a way to work in Madonna. Viva Toledo!

The Slot is Back!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:00:00 +0000

First show since November...

Sasha's Irregular Slot

Friday, March 20, 4-6pm EST / 1-3 PST

Listen here!

Thich Nhat Hanh Facebook Updates

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:48:00 +0000

Monday: "Thich is washing his bowls."

Tuesday: "Thich is sitting."

Wednesday: "Thich is sooooo sleepy!"

Thursday: "Thich finds contemplation in 'Three's Company'."

Friday: "Thich is working for the weekend, but is still in the present moment."

Saturday: "Thich is solitary."

Sunday: "Thich maintains that all is suffering."

Be seeing you.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:48:00 +0000

A genuine hero of mine has died.

'Prisoner' actor Patrick McGoohan dies in LA

The Prisoner

Patrick McGoohan

Your brilliant and prescient ideas still ring true. Safe journey.

Sasha’s Irregular Slot: Tomorrow!

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 17:35:00 +0000

I'll be riding the airwaves again, sharing many a fine tune.

Monday, December 29, 12-2 pm EST / 9-11 am PST

Listen here

And be free!

Pontifications.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 02:03:00 +0000

L.A. is indeed a harsh, but beautiful mistress. I can never let her go.

The older you get, the more difficult and bizarre relationships (or attempts at them) become. Do not doubt me on this one. People get more complicated and idiosyncratic the older they get.

Fatty's in Pasadena is probably one of the best restaurants at which I have ever eaten. It is exquisite.

Never underestimate the power of revealing conversation. Also, never underestimate that it could be simply that, and nothing more. And try not to be disappointed.

Beer tastes even better after the end of a long, hard semester. Actually, beer tastes good after a lot of long, hard things.

And finally, never underestimate the simple pleasures of accomplishment, whatever form that takes for you.

At 4pm EST / 1 PST today

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:19:00 +0000

hear another installment of Sasha's Irregular Slot! Featuring:

Depeche Mode, The Bird and the Bee, Ennio Morricone, Joy Division...

...and all the great sounds of the holiday season!

Listen here

L.A.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:13:00 +0000

One of the things I miss about living in a big metropolitan city like Los Angeles is the random weird shit you would observe during the course of a day. Certainly, that happened when I was living in Seattle too, but the occurrences were usually more infrequent and significant enough that they garnered extensive attention...the incident in 1995 where a homeless guy stood on the corner of Pike (or Pine--they ran parallel and even after four years of living there, I never got them straight) downtown, holding up a sword for hours in a stand-off with police, comes to mind (my co-workers and I watched him off and on for hours from our safe high-rise office vantage point)...but in L.A., every day there was some bizarre piece of behavior or visual anomaly you could observe and note for sharing with your partner (or roommate, or cat) when you got home.

Anyway, one that came to mind today--that I still find particularly funny--was when I was walking into a Target in Culver City and this guy, who looked like he'd been up for about a week (and was probably doing a healthy amount of meth while depriving himself of sleep) was dragging along one of those rolling luggage bags behind him on the sidewalk that circled the strip mall. That in itself isn't really very weird, but he had a boom box resting inside of the luggage, and the zipper was pulled down so that he could blast the sounds of ABC's "Poison Arrow." It was an odd choice of music; even though it was a big hit in 1982-83, it was nearly 25 years old by the time everyone could hear it coming out of his suitcase.

At any rate, I've always been one who appreciates oddballs. Especially oddballs who are so demonstrative; who shake up the status quo of any situation, but do it without harming anyone. This guy fit the bill. Perhaps I was moved as well because the song reminded me of my childhood, and while a revisitation of music that wasn't that great in the big picture, it was nonetheless instrumental in the early formulation of my musical tastes (I still love New Wave). I'm sure my response was a culmination of all of the above, but whatever was creating the positive vibe, I felt the need to comment. "That's the coolest fucking thing ever," I said to him. He shot me an amused glance, as if to say, "Of course it is. And now, I'll be moving on."

He continued his trajectory around the corner of a Subway restaurant; to where he was headed, I don't know. But as I watched him drag away his moving piece of art/memory, I couldn't stop smiling.

Back again.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:33:00 +0000

I've taken a hiatus from radio-ing since August, as this semester has been a bitch on wheels. However, I decided to indulge myself this weekend and picked up a shift.

Friday, November 14th, 2-4pm EST / 11a-1p PST. Listen here:

WRFL-FM

Meet you there!

Good things / bad things.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:34:00 +0000

Haven't posted in a long time...my blogs are becoming less frequent due to my heavy work load at school, but mostly because I haven't really been in the mood to engage in this specific format for some time.

I've been doing a lot of inner work, and most of it is too private to elaborate on here. I'm a pretty free person; I often discuss things online that some might consider best left in my head. Most of the time I would disagree, but in this case, I'll save it for me; it feels too intimate. Long story short, it has been productive inner work, and that's all that matters.

---

I don't know...I miss the days of nearly a decade ago, when I designed my own website, and although it wasn't technically extravagant, it was a forum I didn't share with hundreds of millions of other people. There was something exciting about maintaining my own blog (which I called "Commentary," because the term "blog" hadn't even been coined yet). Nowadays, everybody and their grandmother has some sort of web presence (thank you MySpace and Facebook), and well, it just doesn't seem that special, anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suddenly going to ditch all technology, shut down this blog and my personal website and never be heard from again...it's just all the goddamn chatter of people who shouldn't be chattering that's driving me crazy.

Look, it's like this. Plenty of people probably feel my posts are frivolous, self-indulgent, etc., and they're right. But sometimes, I'd like to think that an idea, irritation or experience I share in this public forum might incite, inspire or entertain someone else. My blog is rooted in ego, yes, but the connections I've made with a few wonderful people through my website, blog or hell, even MySpace has been invaluable and not motivated by anything self-serving.

What I don't want to do is post undeserved, vitriolic comments regarding people who have done nothing to me, spread hate, or say hurtful things I might regret later. I just wish everyone who posted something on the Internet felt the same way. Sharing one's innermost thoughts, even if dark, can be useful, for both the writer and reader. What's not productive is mean-spirited, sexist/racist/intolerant/cruel bullshit I see dominating public forums today.

People might also argue that some of what I've posted has been mean-spirited or judgmental. Judgmental--absolutely. But if I do say things that seem mean-spirited, you must understand they are tongue-in-cheek and are said to drive a larger point or message home. And sure, they serve as venting measures, too...but they're not slanderous, which is wrong and hateful.

As an example of what I mean:

When the reptilians come to take over in 2012 and start reviewing what knee-jerk, stupid, insipid, jealous crap we post online, I don't blame them for stealing our souls and making us into stew (thanks Whitley Strieber, for that mental image). We have this wonderful forum that offers us the opportunity to create positive, progressive change, and instead, we corrupt it with stupid, jealousy-inspired tirades, homemade midget porn and cruel and slanderous insults to people like Hillary Clinton--who was attacked mercilessly with inane and false accusations, and Madonna--who is going through an obviously painful and sad divorce. I know that many out there are posting wonderful art; are producing valuable information that is now accessible through a few keystrokes...and for that, I'm grateful. But for the rest of you jerks? Get off the 'Net and find a new hobby. I wish it were one that actually contributes to society, but I'm sure that's a completely unrealistic hope, given society's precedent for stupidity and cruelty.

I know the idiots are here to stay. Here's hoping I can keep my chin up long enough to maintain my voice, as insignificant as it may be--to effect a change in minds, even if on such a minuscule scale as this.

---

THINGS I'M REALLY F-ING SICK OF (and there are so many more than this, but here are a few):

Reality anything. It's not real, people. It never was. It has single-handedly destroyed nearly all integrity in television, and has reached out its diseased hands to affect film, documentary, and our worldview in general.

Small-minded fucks, of every stripe. Everywhere I go, there they are. Put 'em in the reptilian stew, I say.

Idiots on my campus who insist on wearing shorts and flip-flops in 30 degree weather. It's their prerogative, I guess, but it just makes them look stupid, not tough--which is their goal, I think. Oh yeah, add to that all the spitting from young men. I'm constantly navigating my rolling bag around disgusting pools of sputum on campus. Really, didn't they gave up spitting for "cleansing" purposes back in the 1700s? Get with the times. Besides, it makes you look like a redneck.

People who meander into my path (or often, into me) because they're staring zombie-like into their cell phone screens reading a text, or are madly typing one out with their thumbs. See Dr. Mike Austin's blog (and my rambling response) to this. You should read his blog anyway; I may be biased because he's one of my Philosophy instructors and mentor for my senior thesis, but I think he's an insightful person.

The folks who still seem to think that listening to bone-shattering bass in their vehicles is cool. I sometimes think my entire reproductive system is going to fall out onto the ground when these vehicles pass on the street, the vibration is so profound. I do not marvel at the majesty of the experience; I marvel at how the vehicle's occupants escape serious brain damage. Wait, maybe they don't, and that's the point. More for the reptilian stew!

THINGS THAT I NEVER TIRE OF (there's more here too, by the way):

The pleasure my cats bring me--comfort, companionship, humor (yes, kitties do very funny things) and I even love it when they're occasionally pissy. It's usually warranted, as I have have my face in one of theirs, going, "Kitty Bug! Kitty Bug!" or some similar exclamation. There is nothing like an animal to remind you not to sweat the small stuff, and that sometimes, the pleasure of a purr or outstretched paw is all one needs to feel better.

Trips out of town. I just came back from an Honors Conference in San Antonio, and man, it felt damn good to get a change of scenery. It was just enough time to savor, and left me refreshed and ready to return to my obligations.

Old episodes of The Prisoner. It's a brilliant 1960s BBC TV series starring Patrick McGoohan, my favorite show of all time (just barely edging out Twin Peaks), and one I re-watch at least every couple of years. The themes continue to be relevant, and it is unlike anything you've ever seen on TV. Thank you to my bro for introducing me to it so long ago. Check it out.

Goofy, simple pleasures, like turning on my lava lamp after a long day for aesthetic and contemplative comfort; the little painted wooden armadillo I bought in San Antonio, whose head bobs when you touch it; the beautiful crimson and gold leaf I picked up on campus at the beginning of fall and put in my car, just because it made me feel good. That sort of stuff. It keeps me fresh, keeps me young.

For someone who has laid off blogging for a while, I've certainly had a lot to say tonight. Well, hey, at least I feel better now...and I only slammed those who deserve it, right? ;)

Back to school blues.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:35:00 +0000

Just when I think, "Oh, it's not so bad. You only have two semesters of undergrad left and things have gotten off to a pretty good start. No assholes yet..."

Then, there's Math 105. Math 105, the class I'm PISSED OFF I have to take in the first place, not only because I have math phobia (even fractions make me nervous), not only because I scored something like an 11 on the math section of the ACT and am flying blind, but mostly because it's a 100-level course, and 100-level courses mean...YOU GUESSED IT: Assholes.

My instructor is this tiny little Chinese woman who is really sweet and clearly knows her stuff. However, her accent is so thick it is very hard to understand her. There are two jerk-offs in the back of the class who have talked during lecture before, but today, were out of control. They chattered all through Dr. X's instruction, and one of them was even poking fun of her (she didn't seem to realize this or perhaps she just didn't care) while she was explaining one of the problems on the board. Now, I'll admit, she does say/do funny things from time to time (writing "deceasing" on the board instead of "decreasing" did give me a giggle), but audibly making fun of someone's language barrier is NOT cool. Anyway, these two douche bags wouldn't be quiet, so I spoke up:

"I apologize, Dr. X," I said, turning to them. "Could you guys please be quiet? I can't hear her talk."

The reply from one of them was this:

"Shut up."

I was fucking flabbergasted.

"That's really offensive," I replied. "Could you just respect the instructor, since she's the one teaching this stuff?"

"Why don't you just shut up?" he said again, never fully turning his face toward me, but glowering from the side.

Dr. X turned around and just sort of stared at them.

"I can't believe this, Dr. X," I said to her. "These guys are behaving like they're in junior high," I commented.

"Well, maybe I am," Asshole 1 replied. GREAT response. Very creative. By this point, he had all my attention. Asshole 2 was probably just grinning like an idiot.

"Apparently, you should be," I said, and turned around. I was shaking all through the rest of class.

Dr. X tried to smooth things over, saying something about not talking while she's talking, but if I was her, I would have kicked their asses out of class--not only for for disrespecting me (the instructor), but for being TOTALLY out of line with a fellow student, as well.

Dr. X loves for students to read the problems she provides on her handouts, and although I had planned to say nothing else during the remainder of class time, she stood there and waited so long for someone to offer to read one of the examples, I finally started reading it. Of course, these guys started talking AGAIN while I was speaking, and one of them even went to the trouble to knock his book off his desk, which made a loud clap on the floor. Wow, I haven't encountered this much direct hostility at school since those horrible Lord of the Flies years better known as high school.

I am an ASSHOLE MAGNET. I don't know why this is, but I can go anywhere where two or more are gathered, and almost always, the bully of the group (read: insecure jerk, male or female) will target me. I have no idea why.

Someone at work--to whom I was relaying this story--said, "Well, you're just an outspoken woman, and he couldn't handle that." Perhaps so, but this goes beyond some sort of sexist thing. This is a human decency thing. I called someone out on their rude behavior and instead of being embarrassed and ceasing the behavior, the response was to say "shut up"? This sort of stuff shouldn't happen in college. But then again, neither should audible conversations during movies, obscenities yelled from a car at someone walking down the sidewalk, or a million other rude, inexcusable behaviors I encounter daily--which confirms my belief that decorum is dead, common decency is in the shit can and we're all headed to Hades in a hand cart.

So, let's all gather 'round, punch each other in the face while singing Kumbaya and then "Shut up," 'cause I guess everything else is just a waste of time.

Judas

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:16:00 +0000

Is simplicity best
Or simply the easiest?
The narrowest path
Is always the holiest
So walk on barefoot for me
Suffer some misery
If you want my love
If you want my love

Man will survive
The harshest conditions
And stay alive
Through difficult decisions
So make up your mind for me
Walk the line for me
If you want my love
If you want my love

Idle talk
And hollow promises
Cheating Judases
Doubting Thomases
Don't just stand there and shout it
Do something about it

You can fulfill
Your wildest ambitions
And I'm sure you will
Lose your inhibitions
So open yourself for me
Risk your health for me
If you want my love
If you want my love
If you want my love
If you want my love

~Depeche Mode, Songs of Faith and Devotion

Are you ever "Irregular"?

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:58:00 +0000

You should be!

Sasha's Irregular Slot

Wednesday, August 20, 10p-Midnight EST / 7-9 pm PST

Listen here

From The Daily Om...

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:55:00 +0000

August 14, 2008
Not Alone In The Dark
Looking At What We Don't Want To See

It is one of life's great paradoxes that the things we don't want to look at in ourselves are the very things we need to look at in order to know ourselves better and to become more fully who we are. The feelings that make us want to run away are buried treasure full of energy and inspiration if we are willing to look. These feelings come in many forms, from strange images or snippets of information to recurring dreams and feelings that rise up seemingly without a reason. Whatever shape they come in, and no matter how scary they seem, these messengers bring the information we need in order to grow.

When we are tired of pushing something down, or trying to run away from it, a good first step is to write down what we think we are avoiding. Often this turns out to be only the surface of the issue or a symbol of something else. Expressing ourselves fully on paper is a safe way to begin exploring the murky territory of the unconscious. The coolness of the intellect can give us the distance we need to read what we have written and feel less afraid of it. It helps if we remember that no matter how dark or negative our thoughts or feelings may be, these are energies shared by all humanity. We are not alone in the dark, and all the gurus and teachers we admire had to go through their own unprocessed emotional territory in order to come out the other side brighter and wiser. This can give us the courage we need to open the treasure chest of what we have been avoiding.

Within the parts of ourselves that we don't want to look at, there are emotions that need to be felt. Unfelt emotions are stuck energy, and when we leave emotions unprocessed, we deprive ourselves of access to that energy. When we feel strong enough, we can begin the process of feeling those emotions, on our own or with guidance from a spiritual counselor. It is through this work that the buried treasure of energy and inspiration will pour forth from our hearts, giving us the courage to look at all the parts of ourselves with insight and compassion.

August 13 means...

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:52:00 +0000

...it's Bill Shatner Day! (Unofficial)

Another of the Irregular.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:10:00 +0000

Sasha's Irregular Slot

Friday, August 8, 2-4 pm EST / 11-1 am PST

Let's make it happen.

Listen here

Ghouls.

ascarborough1@gmail.com (Sasha with an X) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:55:00 +0000

I just learned of actor Morgan Freeman's car crash in Mississippi, which has left him in serious condition. That is sad enough, but further reading revealed that some lookie-loo tried to take a picture of him with his or her camera phone while Freeman was being loaded into an emergency vehicle.

Apparently, the actor was lucid, and joked, "No freebies, no freebies."

God bless him, his patience and sense of humor. I'm not sure I would have responded in the same fashion.

It's bad enough someone would want an image of Freeman while he's in pain and physically debilitated, but I'm CERTAIN this camera phone asshole's hope was to sell the image to some tabloid.

Fucking ghouls. Where does it end?